Ha! Dream Files

Ha!!! Bet you didn’t think I’d post again this week…but I am. Another one for the dream files…

Stage is set last night. My dream opens at a Mexican Restaurant & Tienda (grocery store). Except when I asked who owned the place, everyone laughed and said…”Good joke el jefe!!!”

Apparently, I owned the store and restaurant. So, this dream shows me owning a mexican restaurant and grocery store. I was cooking, and enjoying myself. I had to go to the store side a couple of times, and those weren’t the best times for me. I certainly enjoyed the restaurant much more than the store.

The dream just kind of showed me working and running these places for a day. The dream closed when one of my sons messed up an order and the patron got upset and wanted his money back. I argued with him, and ended up not giving his money back. He got out some eggs and threw them at my restaurant…oh well. Guess I should open that restaurant soon.

dream file – camping

I haven’t had any memorable dreams for a while, but last night changed that. As I was drifting off to sleep, I must have been thinking about our most recent camping trip with our friends. This dream had to do with a camping trip.

Scene opens and Amanda and I are in the car headed to the campsite. We’re driving forever, and then we get to the park where we’ll camp. Then, we just kept driving, for like an hour and half before we reached our campsite.

Eventually we made it. Then, we had to set up camp. Well, our campers included our friend Laura (sans baby and daddy) and her father – in – law. Weird.

The campsite had a big slap that was carpeted towards the back of it, where they started to put up their tents. This was different…but we went ahead and joined them. I’ve never camped on carpet before…not sure what that means, but I don’t want to analyze right now.

My dream ended with us eating dinner around a fire, with a canopy up over the tents…weirdest looking campsite I’ve ever seen, but that’s what you get when you go camping with a friend and their father – in – law I guess….have a good day!

Awards shows

Hi…this post isn’t about changing. This post is just to let you know that the challenge has worked this week. I’m feeling good about blogging again. With that in mind…

Does anyone know why we still have award shows? Do they matter at all? Why do actors, actresses, denigrates, vagabonds, musicians, whomever, feel that they deserve an award for doing work. Seriously?

I go to work everyday. Let’s say I take a particularly hard phone call, and it lasts longer than I thought that it would. Do I get nominated for an award? No…it’s just part of my job.

So, the actor who remembers his lines long enough to do a scene probably doesn’t deserve an award either. Color me salty, or dissatisfied with work, but really, I think this is part of the “well, everyone deserves to be recognized” syndrome.

Sort of like in little league, when your team lost every game but one. You get a little trophy at the end of the season for “participating”. Ugh. These folks up for awards always counter with the “Well, it’s just an honor to be nominated…” thing. I think it’s pretty transparent, but what do I know anyway?

Let’s figure out better ways to spend time or money than on an awards show.

man…I could use a “redshirt” right about now

Ok. You know about the whole “landing party goes down to the planet, with Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and a redshirt security guy. Guess who isn’t coming back?” thing right?

Well I could use a redshirt security guy today. My car broke down last night on my way home from work. I limped it into the mechanic’s place, and got a ride home from my brother. Today though, I get to drive my wife’s car.

Now, this normally wouldn’t be so bad, but there’s a story to relate to you. We went camping a few weeks ago. Prior to camping, my wife picked up a bunch of firewood. Included, for no extra charge, was a snake and a mouse. The snake is no longer in the car, but we’re pretty sure that the mouse is still there.

Driving right now seems a little dangerous, as I could be tooling along and then suddenly have a mouse jump out at me. This understandably could not end very well.

So…I could use a redshirt security guy to drive the car for me, and deal with the ravenous rodent residing right ’round the car.

Take it easy, and thanks for listening!

Thing’s I’d Change…auto mechanics

Seriously…can we get a “Scotty” around here? I’d like to say that I’m always happy with my mechanic. Years of listening to Car Talk have taught me to be loyal to my mechanic, that he’ll always look out for the best interests of me and my car.

I’m not so sure about that. I had to take my car in towards the beginning of summer to get the signals repaired on my car. Easy repair right? So I thought. No, this turns out to be a continuing saga. I can go out to my car right now, turn it on, and not be able to predict which turn signal (if any) will work. Sometimes, I get my Left turn signal to work, which is great. Most of the time though, my right turn signal doesn’t work. That’s a severe bummer, as I have to put up with the derision of my fellow drivers who are waiting to turn at certain intersections, looking to my car for an opening. Well, they can’t tell if I’m going straight or going to turn, and they get mad at me.

So, I’d like Scotty to be my auto mechanic. This guy might have to change the laws of physics, but at least he’ll get the turn signals to work!

this summer

So…I took the summer off of the blog world. It’s cool though. Now I’m back, and ready to start posting again.

What is one of the things that I’d change if I were Captain Kirk? I’d start going after the health care crisis. Dr. McCoy didn’t wait to see if someone had health insurance before he could treat them. He just hit them with some type of hypospray.

Take for example the time that salt monster started killing off the crewmembers? Did McCoy wait for the insurance companies to let him know if he could treat them? Did Kirk or Scott have to get their copay money out everytime they’d go into the sickbay? Nope!

It’s enough to make a nurse cry!

Well, that’s all for now. Stay tuned.

apology

Hello Internet community,

I apologize for the delay in my posts to the blog. Please give me another chance. Please…for the love…please, give me another chance. I’ll never let you down again…

Latest from the dream file

Hi to all out in the internets…I have my latest installment from the dream files. Here goes:

The dream opens as I’m getting a call from the producers of the Miss America pageant. They tell me that I’m going to be the new creative consultant to the show, and then start laying out some ground rules.

1. Keep the part where Miss America gets her crown
2. get rid of everything else

So, with that type of freedom, I set to work. The first move of my new direction was to hire Marc Summers. He certainly would provide the rules for this contest better than anyone else.

My second move was to rename this thing. I changed this to the Miss America Contest & Physical Challenges! I thought, “What kind of champion would America be proud of, and would follow into war?” The answer is of course a CHAMPION!

The format of the contest would consist of a rather lengthy question and answer period, where the “CONTESTANTS” would battle it out with their wits and their physical strength. The answers to the questions would be judged by an impartial panel of physical trainers, university professors, and accounting majors. (or celebrity chefs) The judges will pass down judgment not on the supposed right or wrong nature of the answer, but on the preparation and knowledge alleged by the contestant.

I didn’t get to all of the physical challenges, but some of them include:

1. Synchronized swimming in a pool filled with corn syrup…added twist, you’re swimming with another contestant that you’ve never even met
2. unlock yourself from an elevator filled with water
3. some type of race through a paintball facility

The final challenge, er, phase of the competition was the coup de grace. We decided to hire (or forcibly persuade) Dave Coulier to participate by giving him a saw (crosscut two person type) and telling him to find his way out of the “This land is your land Maze”. The contestants were also running through the maze trying to unlock doors that they found along the way by using different keys that they are given and/or take from other contestants.

The added wrinkle to this: There’s no finish line to the maze. The new Miss America is crowned by being the last person to stand up after all others have given up.

Some other things to look at in this contest:

1. Miss America can defend her crown the following year
2. If she is physically unable to perform, she can send a delegate to do battle with the first runner up!
3. all other contestants are forced to carry a helicopter through the city streets like a sedan chair in which sits the newly crowned (and bruised) Miss America!!!

So, sound like fun? Who’s in?

Another thing I’d change

If I was Captain Kirk, I’d change Pharmaceutical commercials on TV. Seriously, the legal disclaimers and side effects are longer than the benefits and/or any backstory that they show at the beginning of the commercial.

I also think that the same person makes every single one of the commercials. Have you looked at them? I mean it looks like they use the same house and actors all working in their garden, or sitting on a couch, or watching a game outside. So, if I was Captain Kirk, I’d change pharmaceutical commercials.

Why can’t these be more like Dr. McCoy’s medications? Just walk into Sickbay, and get stuck by a HypoSpray without being told what it was, or that you’d have dry mouth, loose bowels, and fever along with swelling of the breasts and hands.

Talk to you later.

Things I’d change…Snow Removal

Captain’s Log…Stardate ? I can’t see any stars because the snow is too thick.

I think that there would be a better way to remove snow…such as using a Phaser or photon torpedoes to blast that snow away. Scotty would probably tell me that it’s not possible with the dilithium crystals…or that it’ll take him some time to set it up.

I say, give him the time. I’m tired of shovelling! See you later!